20 December 2012 ~ A Month of Reflection

Do you consider yourself to be in good health? What changes can you make to be at your most healthy? [Author: Lee]

I DO. I really am in extraordinarily good health. Even with all that is NOT as I might prefer it BE.

Accommodating my body’s capabilities is getting to BE far easier as the years go on, strange as that is to wrap my head around.

What often astonishes me is the way that I am healthier Now. MayBE that is due to circumstances which taught me so much. Or just mayBE it is due to learning to take care of myself.

For years I was Very Pissed-Off that my Spina Bifida wasn’t found earlier. And I was deeply resentful that I was kept from getting help, too, with the depression that I’ve lived with since I was about 10.

So much shame and isolation ensued from both of these that has both made my Life the wonder that it is and the hell that it was.

A really great thing happened in early 2011 in the form of a Continuing Disability Review. Dealing with it all on my own and having no one to encourage or help me [which I felt was “so unfair”] turns out to have introduced me to myself in a brand new and pretty wonderful way.

At the end I was a different person entirely. I realised how much Social Security Disability enables me to work with my health circumstances.

I  was most grateful through that process to look at how my health has improved since 2002, when I stopped teaching and medically retired.

Living alone has also been a great teacher. All in all, a “really unfair” happening enriched me tremendously.

During 2012, I have been consistently healthy. No knocking on wood, either. Nor focusing on the pain that is visiting me today. It is what it is.  Somedays there is pain. I don’t enJOY it, but I can work with it.

Perhaps one of the Very Best gifts of 2012 is what feels like overnight weight loss. Choosing to sell my car and work within the means I DO have has led me to walk. A LOT.

And to change what and how much I eat.

The result is sweet. And it has changed me. On the inside. MayBE more than what you could see just by looking at me.

I am sure that Time will reveal more and show me other changes to make. And I am sure that I will listen and heed Time’s “suggestions” or nudges.

Health is a funny thing BEcause we often pay it more attention when it is NOT good. I don’t DO that.

I lean into the ordinary everyday goodness of mine.

And I listen to it.

And I respond accordingly.