Photo Art Friday 5 April 2013 ~ Collage

I'm "staying off my brain" as my friend advised me, so this week's Photo Art Friday is a wee bit of a recycling exercise.

For the past few months I have been creating digital collages each morning for my daily Gratitude. It's given me a remarkably swift rise in self-confidence given both the early hour when I DO this and the repetition that makes it second nature.

By mid-afternoon, the entire process is too daunting, but BEfore the sun's even come up, I actually DO it in my sleep.

Well, sort of...

The above collage was made by using a texture fiddled with in Picasa plus a photo from my archives also fiddled with in Picasa plus an in-the-moment poeming [since this month is National Poetry Month I used a line from e.e. cummings as my jumping-off point] all stirred and simmered in Pixlr Express.

That's the same "recipe" I've used for these other 3 as well.

And for those who are so kind to have asked me to keep you in the loop, the MRI last Friday was a "good" one as it ruled out a whole bunch of things I'd worried about. I didn't really grasp how much I was worrying until I knew those results. thank you one and all for your kind asking and generous thoughts, prayers, good scoobah, and overall amazing wonderfulness!!

Monday saw me back in my doctor's office for hours of electric tests and readings as well vascular tests. looks like it's just a bad knock on the head that didn't DO any of the Really BAD Damage.

YAY!!

That said, I'm still dealing with the concussion and extenuating neck and back pain. I started Cervical Traction yesterday [Wednesday] which I will DO twice weekly for 6 weeks. Hopeful it will help ease this and bring me back to "normal" [or as "normal" as I ever was] BEfore too long.

some of the really yucky stuff about the whole episode is that I am really on edge ALLTHETIME and especially around dogs. Gracie and I have been walking with friends most mornings and that's been a saving grace. the afternoons are another kettle of bunny rabbits, but we're at least pointing in the direction we want to go.

TIME...

TIME...

I have learned a very disconcerting thing about homeowner's insurance in Florida, that BEing that companies can opt NOT to cover someone's dogs DOing what these 2 dogs did to Gracie and me. I am grateful I already have a neurologist I see every couple of months BEcause, well, you know, where would I BE without him and his entire staff?! I am also grateful that BEcause of my disability and that I DO see him more regularly than any doctor, all of what's going on is more accessible as in they already know where I was BEfore this happened. I know that may NOT make a lot of sense to you, but to me it is cause for great celebration and Gratitude. 

Hourly.

And Now that I know it's NOT a TBI or hemorrhage or whatever else I don't know that it might have been, I've had a chance to assess other things like why I wake up in a panic, get dragged round by a fearsome thought that buzzes me, asleep AND sometimes when wide awake, like a herd of mosquitoes dive-bombing my ears. 

[This is that part that feels so shameful. 
FEAR.
and confusion.
and NOT BEing able to make sense with words.]

So I am especially grateful for my friend who walks with me in the mornings and my front house family who keep checking on me, give me rides, bring me  ripe tomatoes from their wee garden.

And Gracie. Who just goes on loving me, nutty or cranky, tense or simply too tired to play... She is so good, so wondrously dear to me.

And for YOU and the people on my Gratitude List who are so kind, so encouraging, and so blessedly patient and understanding. Who remember to ask me how I am and take the time to send me words of encouragement.

I suppose this post is more a collage of those thoughtsandfeelings...

with great love and amazement at your generous hearts...