Artist's Play Room #54 ~ Head Shoulders Knees And Toes

I woke up this morning with the song running full blast in my head. I laughed right then and there, telling myself this would BE a fun Artist's Play Room and TODAY was the day I'd get it up and running...

Funny thing, the 2 little grrrls up in the front house had brought me a super secret special envelope last week with cut-out models and faces from some shee-shee magazine. I was deLIGHTed with the bounty and wondered whatever might I use them for.

Until this morning.

And then what happened, you ask...

Well.

Ummmmmmm.

I had a different idea altogether.

I had several cut-out photos of Timmy when he was little, and this one in particular which literally shows his Head Shoulders Knees And Toes jumped up and bit me on the nose!!!

I had some scrap pieces which I had tried without success to share with the Kickin' Arts kids, which, to me, look like little windows, and I thought I'd add them to the mix. 

Then, instead of turning to my paper and glue sticks, I scanned them and digitally fiddled with them awhile. The one above was what I ended up with until I had another idea tugging my sleeve...

For this I used a creative effect on Pixlr. I liked it, and usually don't fiddle with that bunch of effects, but this time it sort of rang the bell for me.

And this last one [above] was just all about playing with overlays and colour corrections. I liked the way the light seemed to BE shining down on him and the pink on his knee and BEneath his toes.

I guess I just had fun. 

Fun spending a little extra computer time.

Fun playing and seeing what happened if.

enJOY!!

Somedays You've Just Got To Follow That Bouncing Ball...

I've been reading and hearing a LOT lately about taking a break and stepping away from the computer, the Internet, the... 

And, of course, there has been my own inner urging and intention to "rest my brain," and limiting my computer time is the easiest and most pleasurable rest around for my birdbrain.

So, this is to say that my Simple Principles series will continue, though just Now I am NOT sure exactly when. Probably another day or so...

I share this BEcause one of the foundational supports of my Simple Principles is to live Life like I am following the bouncing ball.

[if you recall this from sing-a-longs and Mitch Miller, you know what I mean; if you  don't, it just means that when the words to a song showed up on the tv screen, a little bouncing ball would "show" what to sing...]

So, for Now, see you soon and follow that bouncing ball!!

I am challenging myself to write out loud for the 91 days, 1 April through 30 June 2013. I'm pulling questions out of hats and giving them some room to romp. If you have a question to share, please email me... 

silver dot currie at gmail dot com

Simple Principles ~ Stay In This Moment Right Now

If there is one principle that has changed me simultaneously launching me into an entirely new dimension, it is this one.

Simple.

Clear.

Essential.

Every "problem" I have had in my Life, as well those I presently am navigating, completely lose their power to define or enclose me when I am Staying In Right Now.

I didn't think this one up; I only noticed its extraordinary qualities and grabbed hold of it.

This actually happened 7 years ago, during a 21-day school I attended in Sedona, Arizona.

It may BE odd to identify it so specifically, but there you go, I am an odd duck sometimes. 

Nevertheless, since that awakening I have ALWAYS been able to right myself from upset to carrying on, even calmly, by Staying In This Moment Right Now.

That's it.

I'd love to know what YOU think about this principle. How it does or does NOT work for you.

I am challenging myself to write out loud for the 91 days, 1 April through 30 June 2013. I'm pulling questions out of hats and giving them some room to romp. If you have a question to share, please email me... 

silver dot currie at gmail dot com

My Simple Principles ~ End Each Day With JOY

As someone who seems to have been "default-set" at the near side of depression, healing myself of this has demanded I face it squarely and NOT let it make me BElieve I am its victim.

It's been quite a challenge, almost "more than" I have felt capable of handling. At least for longish spells of Time.

After years round the Principles of 12-Step Recovery, I sat down with myself a few years back and over some months BEgan to actively develop My Very Own SIMPLE Currie-Specific Principles to build my Life upon.

End Each Day With JOY is the port to BEgin Each Day With Wonder's starboard. It is a sort of assurance that I can live within their warm arms and find Life more than just manageable, downright deLIGHTfull!!

As with my mornings, my evenings have sameness, practises, and habits to anchor me and keep the gloomies and Fear from the shadows.

The funniest part, at least to me, is how early I go to bed.

NOT BEcause I am exhausted.

NOT BEcause I want to get "enough" sleep.

Only BEcause I CAN.

Such a simple discovery those 3 words:

BEcause I CAN

yet they took me well into my 50's to recognise and BE willing to see clearly.

I used to have such a time with sleep. It would elude me. I'd fall into it and then awaken with my mind racing and chasing its tail. I even avoided it, sometimes, afraid it would catch me unaware and without protection.

That is depression for me. Wacky thinking and nonsensical fears.

Nowadays, er, nights [evenings] it is NOT one bit strange for me to climb in bed and still hear the kids in the front house outside playing.

Nor does it still BEing light out matter.

When I close my eyes I go to sleep.

No muss, no fuss.

And most nights I sleep a long way through, sometimes all the way through, but even when I awaken, BE it 10 PM or 3 AM, I pop up, get a drink of water, pat Gracie, climb back in bed, and go back to sleep.

And I wake up, usually BEtween 3 and 4 or 4 and 5. It just works.

Now I am NOT saying anyone should DO what I DO, I am only sharing that it took me so long to LISTEN to my own body and brain, I know I did NOT have to struggle so very long...

Ending the day with JOY, as happy to go to sleep as to wake up, this to me is Simplicity with a capital smile.

I am challenging myself to write out loud for the 91 days, 1 April through 30 June 2013. I'm pulling questions out of hats and giving them some room to romp. If you have a question to share, please email me... 

silver dot currie at gmail dot com

My Simple Principles: BEgin Each Day With Wonder

I'm going to spend the balance of April writing about My Simple Principles. 

These principles are those things I let guide my moments. 

The longer I DO this, the more I enJOY the quality of my Life in ways I felt BEyond my grasp for so very long.

BEgin Each Day With Wonder.

When I wake up, usually long BEfore the sun, I've learned to ask myself a question like, 

I WONDER what I will learn today?!

or

I WONDER who or what will astonish and amaze me today?!

It sounds so simple and mayBE it is, but it has also encouraged me to 

BEgin my day Eagerly, JOYfully, and Energised.

I, like many people, used to struggle to awaken and BEgin my days. 

Now, NOT at all. 

Every morning I am happy to wake up and embrace the new day. 

Every morning, I DO the same things and by the time the sun is up [and long BEfore I used to drag myself out of bed NOT that long ago] I've already accomplished things important to me which give me the sustained energy to keep moving into my morning and day with wonder.

I emphasised important to me BEcause that's been the key for me. 

I choose to please myself and to DO what makes me shine. 

Rather than DOing what I DO for approval, agreement, or acknowledgement, 

I DO it for ME 

&

I DO it BEcause I CAN.

Life works best for me when it's simple, spare, and clear.

 I am challenging myself to write out loud for the 91 days, 1 April through 30 June 2013. I'm pulling questions out of hats and giving them some room to romp. If you have a question to share, please email me... 

silver dot currie at gmail dot com

Artist's Play Room #53 ~ Creating A Colour Combination

I so enJOY playing with colour. As I thought about a colour and making up a name for it, I found myself envisioning the colour of the ocean. 

The colourS of the ocean. 

And, as it is a bit more of a walk than I am yet up for these days, I browsed through my delicious stash of papers. 

What amazes me is that it was almost as deLIGHTing as BEing at the beach, and I was right here in the Wee Cottage all the while.

I got myself all into cutting and pasting and trying to create the meld of the sea's many shades of blue and green and gray and white and sometimes brown or black, depending on the way I am looking.

I couldn't think up a clever name so I went with, 

The Light Over the Ocean. 

Simple.

After making my collages I scanned them in and then went on to my favourite activity, Digital Fiddling. 

And for these I stay right close to home, too, just using Picasa + Creative Kit.

Really, that's pretty much it for this week...

enJOY!!

Learning To Stop, Look, and Listen

I remember a little sing-song something from way long back...

STOP LOOK AND LISTEN

BEFORE YOU CROSS THE STREET

USE YOUR EYES

USE YOUR EARS 

BEFORE YOU USE YOUR FEET.

I think this is good advise and wise counsel.

NOT just for kids crossing the street, either.

Ever since the episode with the dogs attacking Gracie and me, I have watched myself grow into a crankypants with no more patience than a rubber band stretched too long in the sun.

I get irritated way too easily, and I don't just Let Life BE Life.

Realising this last week, I stopped myself, mid-crank.

Amazing stuff.

Last night I slept practically straight through the night.

That was deLIGHTfull.

Nothing's changed all that much with me physically, but mentally, I am adjusting. At least that is what I think I am DOing.

I still have a strange brain, but I have adapted to it.

I've stayed "off my brain" for longer and longer chunks each day.

It is always going to BE necessary to stop, look, and listen BEfore I cross the street, but I may have overlooked there are still streets to cross, places to explore, people to meet, and adventures to have.

Clearly, I had a good bump on the BEan.

BEcause I'm NOT a crankypants [anymore, though I surely was for a too long many years of my one precious Life] and I don't want to renew my subscription to the Crankypants Times.

What happened really scared me. And hurt me. And it sort of stinks. But it could have been so much worse, and oftentimes I have found that Life wraps gifts in unusual wrappings.

Just Now when Gracie and I went out  for our afternoon walk, she still wasn't game for walking BEyond our street, but in turning back to head for home, I happened upon a $5 bill on the ground.

See what I'm saying?!

I am challenging myself to write out loud for the 91 days, 1 April through 30 June 2013. I'm pulling questions out of hats and giving them some room to romp. If you have a question to share, please email me... 

silver dot currie at gmail dot com

"Your silences will not protect you..."

 My silences had not protected me. Your silences will not protect you.… What are the words you do not yet have? What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence? We have been socialized to respect fear more than our own need for language...

This bit of a quote from Audre Lorde that has me thinking about some things I've dared NOT say.

And some I have.

And most of all that I don't regret any of what I HAVE said, even if it created havoc.

It is what I have been too afraid to say, that's where the stickiness starts...

That is what I see changing in me Now. As I gallop toward turning 60, I'm deLIGHTfully unafraid to say what I thinkandfeel Right Out Loud.

Except...

Sometimes I still don't.

As much as I respect my own need for language and know the benefits of speaking up, I also know the pain that words can BEstow. 

Upon those we [I] love. 

Or on those who love us [me].

So I walk a line, one I have drawn for myself, and I keep my heart and mind open to moving it, erasing it, or making it into a circle in some places.

I think it is this part, I was going to die, sooner or later, whether or not I had even spoken myself. that really made me sit up and take notice.

I've learned to live each day as though it were my first and my last to enJOY completely. And I no longer live my Life like it is happening inside of some sort of make-BElieve fairyland.

None of us, and certainly NOT I, am promised anything more than this moment. It is a humbling realisation yet it's also a remarkably brilliant design. 

So much of what troubles me is What I Regret and What I Dread. 

Neither of those falling this moment.

Nor are they part of the remarkably brilliant design.

And so I consider the idea of silence as protection...

I am challenging myself to write out loud for the 91 days, 1 April through 30 June 2013. I'm pulling questions out of hats and giving them some room to romp. If you have a question to share, please email me... 

silver dot currie at gmail dot com

Am I Willing To Apologise For My Wrong, Even If...?!

I read this question, along with a bunch of other REALLY GOOD questions on my friend Karen Swank's blog post from yesterday.

Somewhere along the way with National Poetry Month I read a prompt about writing a poem entirely of questions.

For whatever reason, reasonable or just Currie-ish, I found myself reading Karen's post and thinking with some other part of my brain.

Composing.

This:

Am I willing to apologise

And Let Go of your unkindness

[a really nice word for what I think about what you did]

When I know that

Probably

You were only operating on information

I gave YOU

The year BEfore

About ME

And what I thought I needed to DO

WE needed to DO?!

Am I willing to apologise for my part

And the oh so much I did

Wrong

Or 

Late

Or

Never

And all that came BEfore

Years and years BEfore

When Life was different

 For Us?!

I AM

Willing to apologise

And forgive

[myself, as you haven't asked for mine and...]

Everything

To stop writing about this in my head

My much too busy head

Over and over and over again

Even if you never say another 

Word

To Me

Poeming in the middle of a Saturday afternoon is a stretch for me. BEcause I DO my poeming early in the mornings, BEfore my brain is firing on BEing critical and judging whether or NOT I should EVEN let some of my thoughts out in the Light of a day.

But there you go... I am glad to BE a little bolder today.

And to mayBE head some others over to read Karen's blog. She has a way with thoughtsandfeelings and a gift for inspiring me...

 [and others, I have this on good authority]

;~D

enJOY

I am challenging myself to write out loud for the 91 days, 1 April through 30 June 2013. I'm pulling questions out of hats and giving them some room to romp. If you have a question to share, please email me... 

silver dot currie at gmail dot com

NOT Just Another Friday...

DO YOU ever notice yourself slipping into taking lovely things for granted?! 

Are YOU ever suddenly woken up in the middle of assuming things would always BE one way and Now they are NOT?!

I have to admit, this has been the case for me lately...

Probably the biggest piece of this was when I fell on my head a few weeks ago. I was so glad I could get up, that Gracie wasn't hurt, and just to get home was more than enough.

Then, little by slowly, day by week, things started to shift slightly. And I started adapting to them.

Or that's what I am thinking.

For instance, I have lived long enough in my daily celebration of Gratitude that I just seem to BE grateful all.the.time. Without even breaking a sweat.

And I've just been DOing the weekly art challenges I DO as though they are as common as carrots.

Yet in the past few weeks I've struggled to find my Gratitude, been writing more disjointedly than ever I can recall, and both of my weekly "regular" celebrations of art-making and art-sharing have stepped away for a time...

It makes me wonder, all this Change.

Oh, and the gig I had teaching Kickin' Arts and Art FUNdamentals at the Delray Beach Center for the Arts since 2010 has decided NOT to have me DO it any longer, for financial reasons.

And then of course there are my own "financial reasons" which brings me back round to the lack of normal constancy in my Life. 

To this NOT BEing Just Another Friday...

Now my weeks are punctuated with dependence upon a paratransit ride service which is consistently inconsistent to go for cervical traction twice a week. 

My walks to the market or even with Gracie are dizzy and discombobulating and I've grown impatient and intolerant of things which, I suppose, taking Life for granted as I was, I was able to see past or simply NOT EVEN focus upon BEfore.

I am NOT saying I don't like, even LOVE the fact that Life is Change. 

[at least I don't think that is what I am saying...]

I'm really saying I feel adrift. Apart. Unhinged. Disconnected.

How about YOU?! Does this make sense?! 

How is it that YOU cope with Change and things you "take for granted" going all hob-gobbled just when you've found your rhythm and flow?!

I am challenging myself to write out loud for the 91 days, 1 April through 30 June 2013. I'm pulling questions out of hats and giving them some room to romp. If you have a question to share, please email me... 

silver dot currie at gmail dot com

Somedays Are Like That, Mom

About 32 years ago, my son said a wise thing to me. And to this very day I hear his little boy voice saying it. Especially on certain sorts of days.

Somedays are like that, Mom!!

Today has been one.

NOT especially "bad" and certainly far from awful, it's just been a day that has brought me face-to-face with a Currie I'm none too fond of. 

She is impatient, she goes off over tiny things that mostly she wouldn't even register, and she has this attitude that is, well, let's say "entitled." 

NOT a pretty or pleasant thing...

I've pretty much kept her like the Jack... In. The. Box.

I even took the words right out of her mouth once.

That made me smile.

It's just a day. 

And Now it's at its end.

Almost...

Thinking I'll count my blessings and remind myself Who & How I REALLY Am.

I am challenging myself to write out loud for the 91 days, 1 April through 30 June 2013. I'm pulling questions out of hats and giving them some room to romp. If you have a question to share, please email me... 

silver dot currie at gmail dot com

Photo Art Friday 12 April 2013 ~ Shadows & Light

As best I can I am limiting my computer time for the next while. It helps, actually it helps a lot, but I really DO enJOY my digital fiddling time, so I am trying to get in at least a couple of fiddling times each day.

The two photos I've settled on for Photo Art Friday this week are much more composites, a funny realisation I had as I was fiddling away.

The first I played with a LOT in Picasa and then in Pixlr Express. I've been shying away a bit from textures the last while, at least in the one [and so far only] way I've learnt to use them.

Yet others here have talked about textures and layers and I thought, HEY, I know how that would work!! So I did it. I used a bunch of PDPA textures, Age It, Scratched Lens, and Vintage Vellum, and ah-HAH!! I even knew how to find them AFTER in my Recent Items List!!

Isn't this amazing the things we learn going blind into the digital fiddlish frontier!!!

The next one is actually part of a larger piece that I cropped and fiddled with. In this one I like the way the shadows play off the windows onto the fire escapes and then about the bricks.

I also used the Antique Me texture in this one along with Age It. Really very interesting to fiddle effects with textures and overlays. I think this may BE why I need to limit my computer times...

So that's it and that's all from me and I surely will BE looking for you all over the next couple of months during our PAF hiatus. 

As I shared with Bonnie when I read of her taking a break, I think it may well BE a blessing in disguise for me. Still, I really especially love this part of my week and connecting with you all.

BE Well and Stay Well and EnJOY the little things in Life. See you in June and I thank you one and all AGAIN and AGAIN for your kind words of encouragement as I continue healing my banged-up brain. 

You've no idea how VERY MUCH your time to write has helped me. You are some amazing and wondrous human beans and I wish everyone were as blessed as I've been in this time of really needing to know I'm NOT just out here whistling in the wind.

Making Lemonade

Somedays ask for more patience than I can muster. 

I try to catch people DOing things "right" or "well."

I make room.

I practise breathing in and out, smiling, finding the JOY in waiting.

And in the end, I sometimes just have to surrender.

This was my afternoon.

Waiting for the Connection bus that never came...

Until I'd got on the regular bus... I am so tired of this process.

For almost a year my drivers were always on time, even early.

I could call and speak to someone, like that!!

Last week I let this all bend me out of shape.

[which is saying something, considering the "shape" I am in ;~D]

NOT today.

Sometimes you just have to make lemonade.

Even without lemons.

I am challenging myself to write out loud for the 91 days, 1 April through 30 June 2013. I'm pulling questions out of hats and giving them some room to romp. If you have a question to share, please email me... 

silver dot currie at gmail dot com

Artist's Play Room #52 ~ Fruit

I've kept it very simple this week; still resting my brain and spending smaller bits of time on the computer.

EnJOYed exploring Fruit.

Did some drawing. That's saying something.

Mostly, though, I digitally fiddled and here's what I came up with:

Fruit Patterns "Tossed" Together

Kim Klassen Texture, Refresh
fiddled with in Picasa and Pixlr
with Mahatma Gandhi quote

Ol' Man Simon by Shel Silverstein 
for National Poetry Month

We Know How To DO This Better...

I need quiet and simplicity today. 

Yesterday took me deep into the experience of pain. A long night's sleep, with Gracie right BEside me the entire time, reminded me that I know how to deal with or "DO" pain better so it is time I DO it better.

I've navigated Today more slowly, accepting my Present reach and what is BEyond my Present grasp. 

This causes me to wonder how often I DO what I know better than to DO, and How I DO what I Know How To DO Better. 

It's tempting to sweep it under the rug. To look away.

BUT...

Seeing is important.

Making mistakes, like the one I made yesterday, apparently essential.

This is NOT news, yet it seemed outside my experience yesterday.

When we know better we DO better. I've heard that all sorts of places, but for some reason Oprah's saying it is what I "hear" when I hear it.

When we KNOW better we DO better.

Simple.

Quietly simply.

Just what I need to remember today.

I am challenging myself to write out loud for the 91 days, 1 April through 30 June 2013. I'm pulling questions out of hats and giving them some room to romp. If you have a question to share, please email me... 

silver dot currie at gmail dot com

I Want To Know...

It happened again this morning. It was just BEfore 4 o'clock. 

I woke myself up talking. 

Out Loud.

Making Sense.

I want to know if this happens to YOU.

If YOU, too, are sometimes undone, awoken, and rather astonished by what your sleeping brain is DOing.

Without your instructions.

Without you even knowing it. [or suspecting]

I've learned to write these things down. As though I have uncovered buried treasure. 

And I have often seen the depth and reach of these captured treasures only after some time has passed.

This morning's little pearl was:

We are all broken and we are all remarkable.

Hmmmmmmm...

Perhaps I CAN see the seed in this little bloom.

Since my fall on my head I have felt "broken." 

My brain isn't acting like itself and I've a sense of BEing a stranger to myself.

Despite this change of circumstances, I am adapting a little more each day to my sense of brokenness. 

To my unsense of self.

I see myself as I was in ways I clearly took for granted.

I want to know if YOU have experienced this, too.

If you surprise yourself as I DO myself with what I don't know I know.

I Want To Know...

I am challenging myself to write out loud for the 91 days, 1 April through 30 June 2013. I'm pulling questions out of hats and giving them some room to romp. If you have a question to share, please email me... 

silver dot currie at gmail dot com