Life's Lessons #14 BE a Connector

There is something that occurred to me recently, about telephones, about an oft apparent assumption that we BE available, 24/7/365. I may BE taking this to an extreme, but it's one of those things that makes me want to break glass.

Now that we have the technology that can keep us connected all the time and everywhere, practically, rather than choose to utilise it we expect that everyone else is playing by this same rule. [assumption?!] We are put off when our calls go to voicemail. When someone doesn't have texting capability. When an email [which we KNOW shows up on another's iPhone] goes unresponded to, whole stories are woven of this...

I've been round and round the block about my telephone connection since my move back to AZ. I am so determined to live within my means that I have been working this way and that to NOT need to BE on my brother's cell phone plan. To BE able to have ONE number which I can turn off when I am asleep. Or meditating. Or painting. Or, yes, even writing.

I have had no less than 5 different telephone numbers since the end of September. And you know what?! I don't DO the phone much. I don't have email access or texting capability on my cell phone. And I don't want that to change. REALLY.

What I know is true for me is that just BEcause I can receive a call or a voicemail, I don't NEED those things to BE in effect 24/7/365. What I want is to BE connected. To BE able to connect. To BE reachable and to respond when, for some reason, say sleep, walking Gracie, or writing, I canNOT answer a phone call.

I am NOT ranting here. I am just saying what is true for me. I fully endorse everyone's ability to choose what they prefer. 

And while I really DO NOT always understand how my calls don't get answered or even returned when I have spent time with whoever I am calling and KNOW they have that phone with them 24/7/365... I make room for their freedom to choose.

Writing, here, for instance, I suppose is a little like making a call, or BEing a Connector. But it does NOT depend upon anyone reading or responding for me to BE a Connector.

MayBE I am rambling. It's possible. I DO that sometimes. 

Life's Lessons #13 BE Ordinary

Most days I want to make a difference. I want to DO what I CAN DO and I especially want to DO what ONLY I CAN DO. 

It is NOT the stuff of legends that makes the sort of difference I want to make. It is the Oh So Ordinary, Of Course, and WHY NOT stuff I'm talking about.

Today Gracie and I are going to walk around one of our walking loops and I will pick up every poop that is sitting there freezing and hard on the rocks. If this sounds a bit TMI or even just plain yucky, so BE it. 

Every single time I am out walking I see un-picked-up poops. I've listened to the noise BEtween my ears long enough. I am going to DO something about it, something that DOES NOT have anything to DO with complaining or rolling my eyes.

It is easy to BE self-righteous. Doesn't take much at all to BE indignant. And it's far nicer to BE the person who ALWAYS picks up her dog's poop than to BE the one who couldn't bend to DO so, who had no bag, or simply didn't see.

It is easy to judge and make up a story. And I much prefer BEing the sort of someone who always has bags and the intention to clean up after Gracie. 

But there are other people who don't see things the way I see them. I know this BEcause oftentimes I canNOT find one single other person who sees what I see the way I see it.

I don't mind that I am NOT well-known or recognised or even a little tiny bit famous. I prefer to BE ordinary. I prefer to inhabit my Life out of the spotlight. I actually enJOY BEing someone who would go out with the intention to pick up all those poops she's walked past, shaking her head, one too many times Now.

Sometimes I wish to BE extraordinary. 

But given the choice, I'd choose BEing Ordinary. 

Every. Single. Time.

Life's Lessons #12 BE Heart-FULL

Many times people have asked why I capitalise certain words or letters in a word. I have given satisfactory answers to them, I think, but I have been thinking about it more lately.

I think I DO this largely BEcause it is how I reach out to others. I sometimes spell BE be when I am writing to someone who I wouldn't expect to "get me" but that, I think is very telling.

With some, and that would include anyone reading me here or on my other blogs, people, generally, to whom I send emails or even real mail, and always myself, in my writing practise, I don't worry nor care. I already feel that you, they, and I "get me" and so I just operate as though there were nothing at all strange about my spellings and wordings.

This morning I read an interesting letter that the poet, Ted Hughes, wrote to his son. It was indeed a "dense" read, yet worthy of the time it asked of me to read it. I enJOY reading the running along unconcerned with paragraphing and punctuating sometimes, like a marathon runner likes a good sprint Now and Then.

There was so much juice in that essay/letter. It really made me sit up and blink more than a few times. To recognise oneself in another's words is unnerving and exhilarating. I read it again. And then once more. I'll go back to it. I'll likely print it out, too, and sit with the words on paper. Sometimes I need that sense of touch. Sometimes NOT, but sometimes, YES, I need it.

These are all things that fall into BEing "Heart-FULL" for me. When I write it that way, it is like I am meeting your eyes. You "get it" that Heart-FULL is somewhere BEyond where we all are most comfortable going. But together, for me with YOU, anyway, it is NOT scary in the least.

At the letter's end, Hughes writes: 

And the only thing people regret is that they didn’t live boldly enough, that they didn’t invest enough heart, didn’t love enough. Nothing else really counts at all.

This is something I am stirring inside as 2013 winds itself down. Investing my heart, loving, and taking the chance that I won't BE understood, that people won't "get me." 

It doesn't really matter, I'm discovering, what other people think of me [or that they think of me at all]. All that "counts" is that I BE Heart-FULL and open to the possibility of really loving Life in the moments I'm given.

Life's Lessons #11 BE Resilient

adjective: resilient

1. 1.

   (of a substance or object) able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed.

   synonyms:

   flexible, pliable, supple;

2. 
   
3. I am someone who tries to remember to bounce back. To get up when I fall down. To keep going if I need to stop and rest awhile.

1. I am someone who tries to BE flexible. To laugh with myself when I get too serious. To bend without breaking and roll with the winds.

1. I am someone who tries NOT to forget that Life is full of seasons. Sometimes the season du jour is prickly or bogs me down. The point of the thing is to BE carried but NOT swept away by Life.

1. I am someone who tries taking Life a breath and a day at a time. Sometimes this is nearly impossible, simply too itchy NOT to scratch. Nonetheless that's the deal I've made and I respect myself enough [finally] to keep my agreements, especially with myself.

These are some random thoughts about BEing Resilient. I've been struggling a bit more than I'd like with my mood lately. I have been quick to take offense and I am pulling banana after banana out of my trunk just to slip and fall on peel after peel.

Sometimes Life is just more uphill than level. Sometimes it goes too fast and others so slow it is like watching paint dry. However, my part is always to BE Resilient, NOT to let everything unravel over some momentary inconvenience.

1. 
   

Life's Lessons #10 BE Able To Change

I'm well aware that Life is Change. It is also opportunities and possibilities. And it is, I suppose, but a dream as the song says.

Yet the BIGGEST single thing is that Life is Change. Change is also Life. 

Day by day by day I DO many of the same things. I write. I share Gratitude. I make art. I listen to other people and their ideas, perspectives, and insights. And all of this, every single thing and all of them rolled up into a big bundle are evidence of Change.

I change my thinking when I hear things that I didn't think about that way, but which I think are quite brilliant when they are presented to me. For instance, a TED talk I heard yesterday gave me an entirely new perspective on something I thought I had set my mind about.

I change my feelings or I let my feelings change when I am able to tell someone, out loud, that I am Right This Minute feeling X, Y, or Z. In sharing the bubble of whatever's got me spinning I come to a stillness. I don't remember this UNTIL I DO it. Again. And again.

I change my actions and my BEhaviours when I notice that I am getting any sort of a result that doesn't work for me. It helps to KNOW this is the key to making a change and NOT just a kick in the backside for the heck of it.

Somedays I really DO want to have things all sewn up and tidy. I want things settled and clear. 

BUT...

Just as soon as I fall in love with that idea I KNOW I am heading for a Change or three.

So today I am remembering that in this entire year up until Right This Minute I have been both a Changer and Changed. I have had everything sewn up and then ripped and scattered to the winds. And I have thought and felt and acted and BEhaved in ways that I NEVER imagined I would. [or could]

Life's Lessons #9 BE Accurate

Moving one's Life from one state to another can BE tricky. There are all sorts of things to consider and it's really helpful when you get it right the first time. Or at least after the first time when you realise you've got it wrong.

Or somebody has got it wrong!!

Last week I spent a LOT of several days on something that I was getting wrong. I'd got it wrong BEfore I moved. I got it wrong for 10 days after moving into my Wee Casa. And Now I've got it wrong all over again, twice more.

It's still in progress [or I hope it is progressing and NOT regressing again] and should BE sorted out by this week's end.

A large part of the problem is NOT only that the Right Hand doesn't know what the Left Hand is up to, sometimes the hands themselves have no idea what pie they've stuck themselves into.

Although I have moved so so sooooooo many times in my 60 years, I always promise myself this will BE the last one. [clearly I've NOT learned that I have no control, really, over this at all]

I have just spent 15 minutes going over a billing that is totally wonky. And BEcause of the first wrong thing above, I canNOT simply dive into straightening this one out. So I have to wait. Wait and see...

One thing is for certain, I need to BE accurate and get things in writing. I need to stop BElieving what people say BEcause oftentimes they don't DO what they say and then I end up feeling like a ninny for BElieving they would DO what they said they would DO.

Part of living a simpler Life, as well a minimalist one, is NOT having lots of stuff to manage and juggle. Or at least this is true for ME. I am simply tired of having to take care of so many balls in the air. 

I know, too, I don't NEED to have all those balls in the air to BE living a simple and minimalist Life. I learned a LOT from my last move BEfore this one that I really can live without an awful lot I just assumed was essential.

I hope to come back here with a renewed sense of trust in the promises of others. And I hope this happens this week. I'm working on getting it sorted out that I simply have to wait on this one. 

For Now...

Life's Lessons #8 BE Teachable

I've been taking the morning slowly. Reading the many posts in my Feedly. Amazed at how brilliant people are. How much I learn from people I will likely NEVER meet in person.

Somehow I convince myself I know enough. I certainly HAVE enough. I definitely DO enough. But the KNOWING enough seems infinitely intrusive to me. 

For instance, I was reading a post about how Christmas has BEcome this pretty hot entitlement issue. Well, of course that is NOT what the blogger wrote, but how I interpreted it, for me, Right Now, Today.

And I was reading about someone who is a really splendid human BEing who came by her splendidness through a World of yuck. That sort of thing makes me wonder if I'm really Here yet. You know, the Here which is the Where I Was Going When I Set Off?!

I also read about a couple things I am involved with, deLIGHTed to see the work others did, totally content that we each interpret things in marvelous ways.

Whenever I DO one of these long reading sessions, but sometimes even when I keep up daily, I realise I don't ever EVER really know enough. I think I DO, especially when someone is on about something I "get" pretty much.

Today I am turning that round to BE Teachable. Let the World and its marvelous inhabitants BE my teachers. See for a moment through another's eyes. Experience things in a way that is uncommon. Or simply BEyond my own experience.

There is a large chasm BEtween what I KNOW and what I can Learn. This is the most amazing thing to me about this World online. It's Right Here. At a moment's notice. Even sooner!!

I may well know enough, but I intend forever to BE Teachable.