7 December 2012 ~ A Month of Reflection

Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2012 in 7 minutes. Set an alarm for 7 minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2012. (Author: Patti Digh, with an extra 2 minutes from Lee) 

I want to remember good sleep, great walks, waking up smiling for mayBE the first time ever almost every single day.

I want to remember forgiveness. Given. BEing ready to forgive even if I was still feeling sad and things were hard.

I want to remember laughter.

I want to remember seeing Jody again after over 30 years.

I want to remember reconnecting with Laurie on Project 137.

I want to remember feeling things are possible even if I have no clue HOW to make them get up and GO.

I want to remember good neighbours and then even better [dare I say THE BEST?!] neighbours in the front house.

I want to remember Timmy and the couple of hours with him here in October. 

I want to remember the people I have met here, through this very blog, and all they give and share and teach me.

I want to remember Project 137, A Year With Myself, and 366 Daze of Grace. I want to remember what it feels like walking alongside dreams that are coming true.

I want to remember teaching and graciously letting go of the opportunity to BE an artist for the Center for Creative Education.

I want to remember letting go of GraceLand and with that so much else following... The space of Hope it all revealed and is revealing.

I want to remember Sally. I want to remember my whole Life how there was a space, always, for me in hers. Even if I didn't BElieve that.

I want to remember... 

7 minutes... 8 December 2012 for Day 7 of A Month of Reflection

6 December 2012 ~ A Month of Reflection

If you could change one thing that happened this year, what would it be? Why? (Author: Lee) 

Although I'm someone who tries to roll with the river, I have this Very Bad Habit of trying to change the Past. 

So a prompt like this just plays into my Little Bit Crazy Currie.

And yet, I am going to give it a very quick response.

I would change 

NOT. ONE. THING. 

Truly.

All the gains, every single loss, the mistakes, my missteps, and even those ohmygodIcan'tBElieveIreallydidorsaidthat can stay. 

If anything, I'd only change my wish to change.

Anything.

Ever again.

5 December 2012 ~ A Month of Reflection

Who have you taken for granted? Write to them a handwritten note expressing how you truly feel about them. Then mail it. I promise, it will be the best gift they ever receive, or you ever give. (Author: Lee) 

I thought I was sure of WHO I would write this note to. 

What surprised me was realising who else I take for granted and never really acknowledge.

I have assumed there would BE time.

I have said it wasn't important.

Enough.

But I was wrong.

Life is Now. Right Now. And gone in a blink. Doesn't come back. No rewind.

So, as I thought today of worthiness and people I take for granted, it dawned on me that I needed to let ME know how I truly feel about myself.

Despite EVERYthing I've turned upside-down and knocked over, I have grown into my awkwardness. 

I have changed myself from the inside out. I am consistent in my willingness to go the distance, however far, however difficult the path. 

I listen and I care. 

I've BEcome the sort of friend to myself that I've always longed for but couldn't cultivate since I never thought I was worth anyone taking that kind of time.

While I can't write myself a note and then let myself receive it "out of the blue," I can change the way I put me LAST on my list of acknowledgements.

I can change how I think and I can stand in what I feel.

Without apology.

Without shame.

With just a wee bit of awe.

And much love.

4 December 2012 ~ A Month of Reflection

When were you most scared? Why? How did you respond? How do you wish  you would have responded (Author: Mary Churchill) 

 I heard this quote from Audre Lorde early in 2012:

When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.

Having really marinated in this, I'm BEcoming both wiser about and more comfortable with my FEAR.

FEAR is such a disabling and suffocating thing. And often [most often] it is merely a story in my brain fanning its flames like the Wizard in The Wizard of Oz...

FEAR sometimes wins. Usually when I have the crazy idea that everything is about me. I'm learning to notice this when it occurs. To look it boldly in the eye.

Sometimes I don't see it. Sometimes I run full-out into the jaws of it. 

I think that FEAR is mostly a part of me who needs attention, kindness, and care. A part that I learned to ignore BEcause others ignored it [her].

Lately I am sitting down and having tea with FEAR. Or going for a walk with it [her]. 

It's good for me to consider FEAR more deeply, yet I don't feel it is much of a factor day-to-day. Like the Wizard, I am just a person living Life, wanting to DO good, and mayBE Make a Difference.

If I am good with that, I'm good... Really.

3 December 2012 ~ A Month of Reflection

What is one thing you did this year you think you'll remember for the rest of your life? (Author: Lee) 

Since forgetting things is NOT something I generally DO, and BEcause I often wish my memory were NOT the workhorse it really IS, I don't need to reach far into my bag of tricks for this one.

I learned to depend on ME. 

Oh, I'd like to say I learned to Let Go, BEcause I did. Really and truly. Big things. Important and Life-changing Let Goes abounded in 2012.

But the really Big Deal & Over-the-Top Thing I did and shall NEVER forget was finding that Place people refer to as "in the end" or "at the end of the day" and who I found there was ME.

It's really a simple thing. 

[And I am fairly certain that I "should have" discovered this a long many decades ago.]  

Yet I am just tickled to have DONE so this year.

And you know what?! Depending on ME is so very different from depending on someone else BEcause I know my own heart and I hear my own thoughts. 

It's funny, realising this, BEcause in coming to this place I have discovered that what always stood BEtween me and simple happiness was me BElieving someone else held MY answers and the keys to MY point, purpose, and reason for BEing.

I'd love to have that Time back… Yet the truth?! This timing is exquisite...

2 December 2012 ~ A Month of Reflection

We often learn our limits the hard way. Were there any limits you realized this past year? Alternately, what self-imposed limits were you able to move beyond this year? (Author: Carolyn Rubenstein) 

I considered "limit" a nasty 5-letter-word. NOT anymore. My word for 2012 is Discipline. Its 10 letters seemed far nastier.

Until I BEgan to live into it. 

Discipline encourages me. Lets me BEgin, Continue, and Focus, daily, weekly, or in some other measure.

One of my limits [mayBE silly] is disciplining my writing. 

Each morning I have a series of writings that I DO. For 2 of them I write 222 words. 

That is it, that is all. NOT 223 or 221, only and exactly 222.

A completely self-imposed limit, 222 is improving my writing experience, and mayBE my writing as well. 

Another limit: living within my means. I have a fixed-income which was NOT enough for my Life.

Realising something needed to happen, the thought occurred: sell my car. I thought eliminating the expenses of owning a vehicle might "help." 

I had no idea that BEing vehicle-independent would ADD to my Life. NO CLUE!!

It would take too many words and too much space to elaborate. I can say I Now ecstatically embrace my fixed-income. Knowing my limit has given my Life a shine I'd never imagined possible.

I look forward to living ecstatically within my limits again next year. Perhaps crazy or impossible to some, for me it's turning out to BE an essential ingredient for Happiness and Inner Peace.

[p.s. I trimmed this post down from 385 to 222 words ;~D]

1 December 2012 ~ A Month of Reflection

Encapsulate the year 2012 in one word. Explain why you're choosing that word. Now, imagine it's one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2013 for you? [Author: Gwen Bell]

That word, for me, is BEgin. Each day I choose to BEgin. And up until today I have made 336 BEginnings.

I BEgan my blog, 366 Daze of Grace BEcause I want to create a perpetual calendar with Gracie photos and my words.

When I thought about making such a calendar it felt enormous and overwhelming. 

So I just BEgan. Early New Year's Morning. And one morning at a time I have BEgun again... 336 mornings.

I've wanted to participate with and meet other artists, in a Present-Time and REAL way, but I didn't understand HOW. 

I'd done Art Every Day Month last November, which inspired me to BEgin 366 Daze, following the same sort of daily practise. 

It took me time and much unnecessary hesitation, but when I was ready to BEgin I BEgan. I created this blog, a place to post my art and connect with others. 

Now, one challenge, prompt, or week at a time I am building up a diverse and deLIGHTfull body of work. And I've "met" amazing artists all over the World in the process.

In June, I had another chance to BEgin. I turned my daily Gratitude Practise into a blog. This year during AEDM I shared I Love You, Currie and met some new people that way, people who resonate and enJOY my art and my early morning thoughtsandfeelings. 

And Now, Today, I BEgin this REVERB12|DAILY PROMPTS. I read about it in another artist's post last week. 

It sounded like fun and right up my one-day-at-a-time alley. Plus, since all my challenges and such are taking a break for December, this keeps me playing.

As for the 2013 part of the prompt, I hope that enJOY will BE the word that runs through my year. As I continue with all the BEginnings of 2012, I DO so with great deLIGHT. May these things BE enJOYed in the year ahead.