I am in a bit of a quandary today. Over a painting. A painting that has had so many reincarnations I wonder if I should just let it go already?!
It was started in April of 2011, got tossed into a reject pile, came out again in late 2011 and got collaged-over, painted, and experimented on like a monkey. Got another toss into reject-to-re-DO.
I was going through a bunch of paintings a few weeks ago BEcause I am ready to give them away, to move them on if they have a Life to BE lived BEyond Here. BEyond Now.
And there this little bugger was. Screaming at me like I'd absolutely destroyed its hair on class picture day!! Calmly, with a feeling of greater calm than I had ever noticed in me BEfore, I brought it back in to work on.
I tried collage, again. I sanded it way back. I tried some rigourous de-collaging, and then I let it BE. I let it sit and tell me what it wanted.
It seemed to call for some painting. Again. But it was hideous. So it sat. Again.
Then I got the idea to try a texture on it that I'd used with another painting earlier in the summer. [I know it is October, but it is still very much "summer" here in South Florida.] I kind of clumped it on and the whole effect was pretty darn cool.
Then again it sat. What I have learned from this painting is Meditation. Pause. Wait.
For a time in my Life I painted houses. I learned to paint fast and cover well. This knowledge and skill is counter-productive when I am painting with paint rather than my usual painting with paper.
It has never played well though it HAS taught me. About value. About why it is good to let paint dry BEfore painting over it. Or near it... And that painting isn't always about covering; often it is about revealing.
So here I was, realising that I simply have to Wait-and-See where to go... I got a "vision" of an under sea World, which I have been on about Now for about 2 years, only very different, very textured and layered and the feeling of the space and time under there more than the crazy critters and brighter colours.
I even dug out one of the few books I kept after the sweep of books sent to Amazon in April. I knew it had a painting process like what I had the idea to DO here. I knew it had information I needed to marinate in to understand HOW to DO what I envisioned...
So I started out, layering, like strata, something I learned about in my workshops with Sherry O'Neill at Old School Square Now Delray Center for the Arts from 2009 to 2011.
I was patient and deliberate. I had a couple other things going on so I wouldn't stare and will the paint to dry. So I wouldn't try to BE how I have always been when painting with paint. Sherry made it look so easy, yet she always said she's had a LOT of practise. Those first thousand weren't anything too grand, or something to that effect.
Even still, I got too many colours and mixed up more mud than colour. I have a long way to go on this learning curve, but this time I am NOT going to give up and tell myself that I suck. BEcause I may indeed suck but as a painter?!
I'm still a work-in-progress...
So here's where it stands Now...
[And I realise the colour isn't "all that" so it may look "better" photographed than In Real Life. But work with me here. I'm "getting my art on" and this is something I've never done on this blog.]
|Only cropped in Picasa|
cropped and slightly digitally fiddled with in Picasa
and REALLY digitally fiddled with in Picasa and Picnik
What I notice straightaway is that I am able to DO with digital fiddling the sorts of things I find so baffling with paint and brush. MayBE this is just one of those thousand+ learning curve paintings for me...
I am very much open to any thoughts anyone might have about this process. Sometimes I really miss that workshop and this has been a good way to recreate a bit of it for myself. Sharing my work-in-progress.
The painting that won't go gentle into the good night...