It's NOT a thing I like so much, my reactions, others' reactions, especially to ME. But it is a thing I must learn to navigate if I am going to BE here, on Planet Earth, in my Currie costume...
Sometimes I am a little reaction machine. Like the ball machines in a batting cage, I send out pitch upon pitch without thinking twice.
And sometimes it's more the windshield or the bug.
In any case, reactions are part of Life. Every. Single. Day. Always.
So I am learning that I must BE in a place where I am prepared for them. And often I find I must BE strong enough to bend like the Willow trees when others' reactions to ME are sent forth.
I know that when I wake after 3 or 4 hours' sleep with my mind running in its highest gears that I am in for a bit of trouble if I am thinking I want to get some more sleep. And so it was last night...
I might've done well to BE ready for the backlash I got. Instead I just jumped on in, like someone jumping in to a rope skipping who hasn't an ounce of rhythm...
I could BE mad. And I will admit I am a bit irked. But I also understand. This is how I am made, apparently, with a BIG old bag of understanding that tells me I should NOT BE feeling as I am feeling.
But here's the trouble with that sort of a rule: It causes me to BE someone I am NOT. BEcause I understand does NOT mean I canNOT feel what I feel. I can feel like I feel AND I can understand. These things need NOT BE mutually exclusive.
So, preparation... that's the word of this day. That is the take-away from yesterday's reaction...
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