I'll BE honest, I did NOT always understand what Respect is. I mean I could define it. I suppose I could pay it, but it really flew under my radar undetected. For the most part.
I still understand it only a little. There is far more I don't know about it than what I DO know. But there is one thing I am sure of:
Respect is something I Give; it is NOT something I Get.
I think this is why I have misunderstood it so much. I was told someone or something deserved my respect, but that really didn't make much sense. I could say the right words and act the part of BEing respectful, but until I discovered what respect really feels like, deep in my bones, I couldn't wholly give it.
I canNOT BEgin to explain when and where and how I learned about respect BEcause, like my dreams, when I try to colour and paint it with words it all sort of disappears and turns to dust. Dust that doesn't stick. Like snow that has melted BEfore it touches the ground.
Recently I felt deeply disrespected. [I felt an inner urge to point it out and wag my finger in someone's face about it, too; understand my dilemma with this one?!]
The thing that "saved" me was realising that the respect I felt was lacking was my own. Respecting myself, giving myself respect, THAT was the missing link to this puzzler.
As I near the end of my annual two-month reflect and project process, I am leaning harder into the things that encourage, strengthen, and lift me. Life can BE a challenge. I need all the encouragement, strength, and lifting up I can find.
I am glad I am NOT afraid to shine some light in the darker places of myself. I am relieved, too, that sometimes just that willingness to shine my light there can make all the difference.
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